In 2014 I received a line a day book for Christmas (following heavy hinting/asking). Its a five year diary which you fill in every day, moving through the pages as the year moves on. I remember my mum commenting that it was a really good thing for this time in my life as this next five years will be one where a lot of things change. I’ve seen that no more than in these last 12 months.
This year has probably been one of the most transformative of my life. The huge even that I think was behind a lot of it was the break up of the relationship I thought I’d be in for the rest of my life. It was pretty huge and pretty devastating, as well as a pretty long process. Looking back on this time last year, my time was spent wondering if I’d be seeing him whilst we were both home from university for a few weeks. It was the start of the end, the end that happened three months later.
I’m not going to dwell on the end of that too much but the effect it had on my life was profound. When we broke up I quickly realised that a) it was for the best and b) I had lost myself within the relationship. He was my favourite thing to talk about and I suddenly found myself loosing a huge part of my identity. I went through a very real grieving process in the following months, one that I’ve recently reached the end of.
This experience changed my life and has allowed me to become more me. I’ve found that I can only find my identity in Christ, I can’t find it in anyone else. I’ve been forced to be brave and accept just how foggy my future is. I’ve also experienced the closeness of friendship that I have not fully felt before, I’ve felt more free to have a life whilst I’m away at university.
Another major life experience I’ve had this year is taking a trip to India. I’m planning another post on this but I had to mention it here. This trip shaped me in many ways. It was the first time I’d stepped on a plane without the comfort of my mum, or even without the comfort of knowing what the next 10 days would include. It was an amazing, eye opening and emotional journey which I am so so grateful for.
Alongside these two things and everything they’ve brought, I’ve grown enormously in my relationship with God in the last year, for many reasons which include what I’ve already talked about. I’ve been freed from some things and realised that I am free to do so much. I’ve also gained a new idea about a career for me, finding that the world of occupational therapy might just be for me and pursuing it with enthusiasm.
Its been a big 12 months and the next 12 months are going to be big, exciting, terrifying and unknown. Bring it on.