I guess this is me coming out. I am demisexual. Thats my sexuality. Its not one that is ‘mainstream’ and its not something that many people in my lifeare aware of. A demisexual is someone who only experiences sexual attraction to people with whom they have an emotional connection. That means that I don’t experience sexual attraction to many people, definitely not to anyone when we first meet. It does not mean that a person chooses not to have sex until an emotional connection is formed, just that sexual attraction does not occur prior to a connection.

I currently identify as hetero-romantic which means that I am only attracted to romantic relationships with men. This means that I am able to live my life with a certain amount of privilidge. For example, I don’t feel the need to tell my mum or my friends about it and when I am in a relationship I can pass as being straight. That also means it comes with some confusion though. I only discovered that I was this when my ex-boyfriend came out to me as bisexual and I started looking into what sexuality actually was since I found that I lacked a lot of understanding around that area. Finding the label made everything click.


Demisexuality is on the asexual spectrum, within the community I believe a demisexual is an ace of diamonds which is pretty awesome. The asexual community as a whole is pretty awesome to be honest. Personally, I haven’t engaged much in it myself, I’ve stayed a bit of an observer because I haven’t come across anything that made me really want to get involved, maybe one day.

I decided to make this post just to show another side of myself. As I said before, I don’t really feel the immediate need to come out to anyone really but recently I’ve found myself wanting my close uni friends to know and haven’t worked up the courage to tell them yet. I guess its just another level of knowing me.

One thought on “Demisexual

  1. Cool. When you think about it, there are probably more female demisexuals than male ones. But I know I have some demisexuality going on somewhere in my system. I think with me, it has to do more with my experiences and just who I am has little to do with it…I guess.

    Liked by 1 person

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