Clearing out the cobwebs

Sometimes all I can do is watch BuzzFeed videos. One after another. Every click thinking of what I should be doing. Without the ability to do it.

Sometimes all I want is connection. Desperate to talk to someone. Find a deep connection and be able to bear my soul. Have them understand. It never comes.

Sometimes I feel that I’m in the right place but its all wrong. Wrong university. Wrong attitude. No personality to show.

I once had an identity crisis because I was asked what type of shoe represented me.

Thoughts bounce around in my head

I want to tell someone

Have someone understand

But I need to build a close relationship first

Once thats built, I think, I can have that person

But when I do build, I can’t escape the barriers of expectations

This feeling is not new, I know it well. Like an old friend, who isn’t really a friend at all.

Sometimes, my head is so full, there doesn’t seem to be room for a relationship with God, let alone anyone else.

I’ll go to sleep. When I wake up it’ll all be different, this feeling a memory.

Until the next time.

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