This is my goal. To be fit(ish). I want to be healthier, I know that and I’ve started that journey already.’But I need to change my perspective.
I started getting fitter and healthier over the last year. I started well, focused on my fitnes above anything else. Of course, my looks were a factor, one among many. Who doesn’t think they need to look slimmer after growing up in this image dominated culture of ‘perfection’.
Over the last couple of months, however, my focus shifted from getting fitter to looking better. As I visibly lost weight, it became more and more a focus. That wasn’t good for me. Yes, I love being able to fit into smaller clothes, but I still think I’ve got too much fat, all my insecurities about how I look are still around, so nothing much has really changed.
This lead to me buying a ‘teatox’ from a company which promised a flatter tummy and great weightloss. Coming to the end of this ‘teatox’ and I don’t think I have a flatter tummy, the teas drained my energy and set my eczema off instead. It wasn’t worth the £20 I spent on it.
I had an aha moment one day when I was watching Loose Women. They were discussing being happy with your body, and all these thin, glamorous women were saying that they weren’t happy with their body with the assumption that no one ever was. That said something to me, because all I was striving to do was be happy with my body, but if they weren’t, then I wasn’t ever going to be.
That started a change in perspective. I have decided that I need to focus more on my health and fitness than my looks. I need to work on acceptance of my looks, without changing them because there will always be something thats not picture perfect according to the media.
Its all a journey. I am not there, at all, but its a goal and I think its a better goal than the ‘lose 10kg’ goal and the ‘fit into a size 10’ goal that I was focused on before.