Hi 18 year old Kathryn,
Its you, only three years older. It feels as if we’re completely different people, I remember not wanting that to happen but I’m glad it did.
Right about now you’re recovering from LeakyCon, or as you’d call it the best weekend of your life. Thats very true to you right now. Today, things are a little different. You don’t want a LeakyCon tattoo anymore and the memories feel very distant. Don’t worry though, they’re still as fond. You’re still in touch with Kristina and Annika, you won’t believe how much they’ve changed, and you’re updated on facebook about the others. I know this sounds scary, but believe me, its all good.
You’re terrified of change and facing a lot of it, its totally understandable. You don’t think you could be happier right now and its so much easier to stay where you are but you’ve got a huge adventure ahead of you. Its not always going to be easy, in fact its going to start off as the hardest thing you’ve ever done. You’ve been through heartbreak and heartache but you understand why. You’ll go through ups and downs that will turn your world upside down, but guess what? You’re happier in yourself than ever before.
I’m sorry to say that you don’t have everything figured out. Those times you set yourself for when you’d know everything didn’t really work. 21 doesn’t feel a huge way off from 18, but it does at the same time. You’re still classed as a young adult, but that feels a bit more comfortable now. You’d never believe how much you’ve done, how many new people you’ve met and how little it matters about those you’ve lost. You’re just starting to learn to be okay with the fact that you’ll always be a work in progress.
I didn’t want to write this to scare you although I know it would have, I just wanted to write this as a tribute to how far we’ve come. There are huge specific things that happen to us that I’ve missed out. I’ve done that because I don’t think they’d happen if you knew about them. Keep going, you’ll get through, and some wonderful things are still to come.
21 year old Kathryn