A Poem of Praise

Lord,
I know not what is ahead,
I walk towards your plan,
Light the path in front, I pray.

Wondering not wandering,
For you have gone before,
My heart looks for you.

Creeping all around me,
Your love seeps on through,
Though I feel so lonely,
Your provision never fails.

Even in the darkness,
When I feel lost and unknown,
You pull me closer day by day.

I’ve never needed more,
You give me food and shelter,
Connections you are forming,
I can’t wait to see what’s in store.

Mind My Eczema

“The most important thing is to moisturise”

If only she knew,
That I moisturise,
Every day,
Every hour.

If only she knew,
That my hands decided they didn’t like this moisturiser,
Or that one,
Maybe this one,
But not in that form.

If only she knew,
The emotions every time I’m given a new cream,
The hope,
Maybe this one will be the miracle,
The fear,
What if it causes more problems?
The lack of a stable treatment I’ve faced for years.

If only she knew,
That my hands slide off everything,
My grip is non-existent,
The thick ointment is the only one that works,
Only it doesn’t work for function.

If only she knew,
How much I hate being like this,
The embarrassment of it,
The insecurity,
Wishing for normality.

If only she knew,
That the ‘experts’ don’t help,
Just tell me I have to live with it,
Shrug it off like its nothing,
As if I’m not the expert of my own body.

If only she knew just how hard it is living with eczema,
Maybe then she wouldn’t of had a crying mess in her office.
A 5 minute blood test turned a 50 minute discussion.

If only they knew,
That having eczema isn’t just dry skin,
Its cuts appearing when I think I’ve got it cracked,
Its never knowing if something new is going to help,
Or send me into another cycle of itchiness and discomfort.

If only I knew how to accept this,
Adaptation and acceptance,
The advice I’d give anyone else,
I just can’t seem to find it for myself.

Breakthrough

Yesterday I realised how far I’ve come,
From the brokenhearted girl who cried so often,
To the person starting this new adventure with no fear.

Yesterday I realised that things have changed,
So much in the opposite of my once upon a time wishes,
Shape shifting into a new person,
New dreams,
New possibilities.

Yesterday I realised that the breakthrough  wasn’t sudden,
The breakthrough was laughter,
Building up until it overcame the tears,
The breakthrough was time,
Building a new life from scratch.

Sometimes breakthroughs happen so slowly that you don’t know its happening.

Daily Prompt: Breakthrough